The Frugal Rejection: Apologetic Agents

Now, a sampling of the “we’re sorry we couldn’t be more personal” phrases from the more self-conscious agents in my ample rejection pile:

From Dunham Literary:
“Moreover, we apologize that we cannot respond in a more personal manner.”

From Nancy Love Literary Agency:
“We apologize that, due to the high volume of submissions we receive, we could not include a personal note.”

From Ellen Geiger:
“I’m sorry that sheer volume prevents me from responding personally to your submission.”

It seems that most of the agents who apologize have printed their form letters on plain white paper and cut several small rejection letters out of one 8 x 11 sheet (as opposed to many agents, who have fancy, stiff, off-white paper and their own letterhead). In other words, these rejection letters look something like a note you would post on a message-board advertising that you are looking for a roommate—and not a formal letter from a fancy schmancy literary agency. By the same token, I do wonder why an agency would waste expensive paper on aspiring authors who don’t pass muster. I would probably use the thin white scrap-of-a-letter.